Baseball season is right around the corner. In fact, the first two regular season games have been played – though Spring Training is still in full swing. We thought it would be fun to look at baseball… and… spanking!
Baseball has quite a few spanko friendly references in it. One team can “spank” another… there are “slap hitters”… and then there are the slaps to the backside when a player does good. There have also been some spanko friendly player names in baseball history.
Here are the top 11 spanko names in baseball history. Why 11 and not 10… because a spanker (Todd) did this list – and as we all know, they always mess up the count and add an extra one.
- 11. Dom DiMaggio (1940-1953, outfielder, Boston)
- The “Dom” was short for Dominic and not Dominant, but close enough! He was a 7 time all-star and a heck of a hitter. He was the brother of Joe DiMaggio, one the best known baseball players of all time.
- 10. Brandon Belt (first-base, currently a free agent)
- Let’s go belt! Belt has a 12 year career with over 1200 hits. He is trying to play another season, making him the only active player on the list – but Belt is getting close to hanging it up. He was quite the hitter though!
- 9. Matt Cain (2005-2017, pitcher, San Francisco)
- A star player that helped the Giants win 3 World Series during his brilliant career. Doesn’t spell his last name correctly… and ‘Mark’ would have been a better first time… but still a solid spanko name!
- 8. Ed Beatin (1887-1891, pitcher, Cleveland)
- Even if you’re an extremely serious baseball fan, you’ve never heard of Ed Beatin. He only played 4 seasons and his claim to fame was probably the fact that he was the worst pitcher in all of baseball in 1890. You can’t beat Ed’s name though!
- 7. Jim Bottomley (1922-1937, first-base, St Louis)
- One of two Hall of Fame players on the list. Bottomley collected over 2300 hits in his career… which is a lot of hits for any bottom to collect!
- 6. Topper Rigney (1922-1927, shortstop, Detroit)
- Where there is a Bottom(ley) there has to be a Top(per)… so we give you Mr Rigney. His actual first name was Emory, but he was known as Topper throughout his life. He was one the best defensive players of his day… could even say he was the Top!
- 5. Rich Hand (1970-1973, pitcher, Cleveland)
- After a spectacular amateur career, Rich Hand was the first pick in the 1969 draft. His professional career quickly fizzled. Heck of a spanko name though!
- 4. Mike “Spanky” LaValliere (1984-1995, catcher, Pittsburgh)
- Nicknames are extremely popular in baseball and sports in general… and Mike LaValliere earned his thanks to his resemblance to the Little Rascals’ star named Spanky. It was common for him to be called Spanky too, including away from the field.
- 3. Butts Wagner (1898, infielder – Brooklyn)
- His legal first name was “Albert” but he went through life being called Butts. He’d be a completely obscure player except for the fact that his younger brother was Honus Wagner, one of the greatest players in baseball history. Even without Honus though, you know a name like Butts has to crack this list!
- 2. Paul Assenmacher (1996-2006, pitcher – Atlanta)
- His name was usually pronounced Au-sen-mock-er, but Ass-en-macker wasn’t uncommon… and if you went a little too fast, it came out as Ass-en-smacker. He was a decent enough player in his day, but you can’t beat the spank-o-ness of his name!
- 1. Babe Ruth “The Sultan of Swat” (1914-1935, New York Yankees)
- Perhaps the greatest player of all time. An all-star pitcher that became the greatest home-run hitter in the history of the game. The widely used and known nickname came about because he was the ruler (Sultan) of home-runs (swat). Any spanker would be plenty proud to have the same nickname, that is for sure!
If you can think of another name for the list, please feel free to share it. Enjoy the baseball season!